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March 07, 2006
One out of five stars. managed to wake up very tired before the sun. outside was a rather dark brooklyn. i packed my things and walked into prospect park. some of the runners looked at me as if i were a broken toy, some looked at me as if i were a new one. (it happens.) the birds were shy about their songs. only a few dared to let go of a few notes, just enough to not be bothered by lawyers. Bird song sampling. it took about 30 minutes for me to get softish knees. i will probably die of a heart attack. i do not know how to move my slowly rusting body. somewhere in the belly of maureen dowd's "are men necessary" (well, clearly they are for some authors, so they can write books about them, no?) somewhere in there was the mention of that edge age for men, when they realize how brutally mortal they are. i guess now would be the time. no. now is the time. i catch myself with some of the same thoughts i had when i was 15, except that now i know better and this does not make it any funnier. (When i was 15, I had no idea what I was about to do. Now I sometimes have no idea what the hell I have done so far.) no,wait, now i made it sound so negative. it is not quite as bad as it sounds. I should be on top of the world, actually. I do work for perhaps the best agency there is, with some of the finest people in the business. Even the accounts i work on offer products which can bring some healthy happiness to those who use them (without killing them in the process. A really rare set of qualities.) Okay. I am happy. This is it. I am really, really happy. I want to cry. (Can't even do that right now.) A mocking bird came by the feeders this morning and told everyone to get out of sight. It looked as if he hated everyone, including himself. He then flew away without even trying to get some of that bird food I have here. The peanut cake and the cage have been stolen. Maybe the squirrels did it. My dreams have recently been intertwined with moments of surprising loss of little things. A million things perhaps. Maybe just a few... maybe 3, or 7 or 17? I am going to create a new category now. Lame entries. This one is going to be added. With a little star. One out of five.