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January 24, 2008
two perfectly matching triangles, in no way related in the real world really, yet clearly there for me. driving home after a night full of rather intricate experiences, with packages blocking my sight almost completely, the rest of the windshield made opaque by the condensation. mona, the monkey cat, holding on to me as if we were in water and i were the only island. all the dogs i ever had did not want to come back home with us. we are on a highway, it is the end of the day, there are many of cars on the road. i am in the passenger seat yet driving, at a speed fast enough to kill someone on contact. i need to leave the highway, need to leave the highway, need to leave the highway. and so i move the wheel, or at least something in the area where the wheel might be, just enough to get onto the next exit ramp. we slow down a bit, enter a large and busy city, a large and busy intersection, there is traffic from all sides, the car slows down a little bit more, a bit more, a bit... and that's when we hit the front of a very, very old vehicle, packed with a very large family. father, mother, maybe five children, maybe a little pet or two. i let my car roll out. into a side street. there is some grass. return to the scene. i just now see how ancient their car really is. it has no doors, it has a cloth roof, the engine looks like a beat up bread box. anything out of metal appears to be almost eaten up by rust, or now, after the accident, bent into the direction where my stuffed car is parked. "i am so sorry." "oh, the first thing we will need to get fixed is all the rust. we will need to polish things up a little bit." the very fragile looking man (and he could be Indian, i really do not know,) talks to me as if he were an independent evaluator, not the father of the petrified family staring at me from the seats of his car. (why isn't he upset with me at all? i just interrupted something important he was doing.) "of course, of course." i do not want him to have to scratch off all the rust and have his car bent back to shape. i just want to give him mine, i want to give him all of that stuff in my car too, everything. i just want to keep walking, mona the monkey cat still clinging on to me somewhere between my back and my side. more and more people arrive at the scene. i wake up. and there is a triangular shape on the wall created by the light of the rising sun coming in through my bedroom window, a very bright triangle, glowing. and i notice it because i am holding a corner of a pillow and this very corner has precisely the same shape. not just that, they are aligned perfectly next to each other. to the left the corner of the pillow, and immediately next to the right of it is that triangular shape on the wall. their color is almost precisely the same, but the angles within the triangles are perfect copies of each other. it is unbelievable. it is so unusual that i stare at them long enough for the wall triangle to begin to move on to the next shape cast by the sun coming through the window. wow. not able to make any clear conclusions from all this, or any of the individual parts of it. going to the dentist today. would like to schedule the extraction of my wisdom teeth. perhaps this is going to help ease some of the pressure in my skull. i wonder how mona is doing this morning.