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November 25, 2008
one by one they sardx.jpg A dozen layers of sardines wait headlessly on the top shelf of my refrigerator. it is the kind that was sold out of local stores as long as oil was above $60 a barrel. recession eats the canned fish first. then the alcohol goes, the baked goods, the cigarettes. for a while the sardines were replaced by some experimental versions of insults to the little fish. some of the sauces were simply disgusting. some of the cans contained more oil than fish. a serving of these little buddies covers about 70% of a man's daily cholesterol, apparently. has anybody ever tried to eat a perfect day? has anybody ever measured the 2000 calories and all the traces of vitamines and created a set of meals that are supposed to feed the average man? on a perfect day? what is the man supposed to do on that day? mow the lawn? slain a dragon? prevent abuse of an insurance policy? seven phone calls? a dozen new facebook friends? JPG buddies pulled into the virtual replacement of human contact? i am considering getting one of those twitter devices for my plants. it would be nice if all of my jades and blueberries and all the other adopted trees had blogs. and all of us pretended to be facebook buddies. smearing videos on each others' walls. i wonder if the sardines in the cans had a closer relationship when they were captured than a school of social network friends. were the cholesterol packed sardines poking each other all the way until they ended up in a net of a moroccan ship somewhere far away from rabat? i think i will go fish in animal crossing tonight. i hear virtual fish will pay for my new mortgage.