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April 06, 2008
of opposites, birds and places relatively close to each other, as well as the idea of moving between them in time and space as well as some other dimension. stumbled into a moment of complete completeness and as soon as i noticed i did the moment escaped me. and i tried to catch it again, but it was not really possible somehow. i had found it as i was using an old burned piece of wood to flatten the soil around three young lime trees which i had replanted into their new home. it was as if i had stumbled upon a dream, yet i was completely awake. the opposite of my falling asleep on the train the other night and waking up in coney island. the first few moments of being awake were special. there i was, running towards the closing door of the empty subway car, in the middle of the night, somewhere in the depths of brooklyn. i think the train spit me out on avenue p. "does the bird you have on your balcony stop the pigeons from coming?" it is embarrassing when i do not recognize my neighbors immediately. here was my next door neighbor asking me about the crow my parents had sent from germany to scare away the pigeons. the disadvantage of living in the tallest building of the neighborhood is that it very naturally attracts birds. especially birds that like to nest in cliffs. i have to keep the my balcony in subtle motion at all times, so the pigeons do not fall in love with some spot. like that pigeon in the flower box a floor below me. there she was, noticed her yesterday. she looked like a bird ready to die. and my neighbor was nice enough to let her. in the afternoon when he was cleaning the other planters he left the apparently dying bird in peace. i took the flashlight in the middle of the night and pointed it at the location of the animal. she was dead. her wings spread, her head to the side. i only saw her for a split second, as i did not want to look like a psychotic, snooping neighbor. thought is was nice of the people to respect the need of an animal. quite the opposite of those two ladies in prospect park a few years ago who dragged a dying cat they spotted in the bushes, called the firefighters, tried to perform cpr. this morning the pigeon was completely awake and keeping her spot. a few hours later "dad" was sitting on the eggs. what is bound to happen here is the opposite of a dying bird. and no, my plastic bird does nothing to the pigeons. they do not care about it. some seem to come visit it. i will take it down soon. i have two. and large birds fly by my window now and then. and it is beautiful. this afternoon something that looked like an eagle (do they live here?,) flew by the building on huge spread wings. he was no more than 300 meters from the building when a little falcon, maybe a fifth of his size sped out of nowhere, fell towards the larger predator and bit him right between the shoulders. it was just a brief moment, it looked like there was some sort of pre-story though. the sun will soon set over brooklyn. i had to bring all of my plants in this morning because of the strong winds. hope my lemon and lime trees will be okay. being replanted tends to be a shock for living things. saw an apartment just like mine available two floors above mine. the view is subtly different. the place smells of fresh paint and newly polished floors. perhaps the thing to do now would be to bundle up and sit outside in the rocking chair; stare at the clouds as they are speeding by in ever new shapes in front of the ever darker turning sky. and i might find a place as non-verbal as when i was flattening the ground with the burned piece of wood. or perhaps i will wake up and find myself having to exit the train on avenue p. maybe i will find a moment so simple the perfect one that will be waiting for me there. and maybe the only way to find out is to finally stop writing this entry and just do... what again?