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October 26, 2004
he just wanted to crawl between the layers of asphalt, generate a warmth and find more warmth in return. It was a very easy dream really... well, there were layers to it, of course. the warmth was one felt by the skin, and there was also one felt by the heart. The head liked to be warm as well. And the inside of the mouth, the words whispered, they also melted, onto mouths and hands and more than that. -- he was seemingly fascinated by the edge of the cherry colored table. it was not a straight edge, commonly found in such furniture. the edge was shaped to be protruding, roundish, as if the table wanted to look larger than it actually was. Sheets filled with notes and various lines and symbols began to cover the empty areas of the table. several family members walked in, out, came in again, just to be soon dismissed. -- His father told him one of his verbal illustrations:"Imagine two people play chess. One keeps winning. Once, twice, ten times. Eventually he will grow sick of winning. The game has to have some balance. There should be some sort of interesting give and take. If there is none, why play?" He did not have to think for long:"No, it is actually much more frustrating. I would like to maybe play chess, but I have to explain the rules first, explain each figure on the board, I have to then set up the pieces, just to be told that they should not be set up in this particular way. There are conversations about it, I eventually give in. We end up with a board on which the figures stand around in some strange formation determined by negotiations and compromise. This is when the sun sets, the day ends and so the 'game' needs to be finished. The pieces need to be taken off the board. The board returns to being a door mat. The same procedure is then repeated day after day after day. It is more like that." Father:"You know what, lions should spend time with lions. Fish should spend time with fish." He:"Even if a rabbit tries really hard to find his love for hunting, he will end up eaten by the dogs." Father:"What are you talking about?" He:"I don't know anymore. This game of chess is driving me nuts." -- One of the tomato plants is now a yard and a half in height. I am worried about the lime tree. I might have injured it too much, too quickly. Bonsai training gone wrong? The soil in my little forrest is starting to be covered with tiny moss flowers. I hope I manage to let the avocados survive. Will any one of the 13 pomegranates make it? I have received a precious jade plant today. The leaves are almost the size of my inner palm. They are red. The plant is heart shaped. It is beautiful. -- A helicopter just illuminated the buildings across broadway. I think it is time to go to sleep. Tomorrow will be very serious. Two flights, several conversations. Buildings in which no private phones will be allowed. I better get some rest... There, the helicopter is coming back. I am so desperately looking for shelter. It is becoming less and less funny.