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November 05, 2003
the amen button...

It is really amusing to me every time I realize that I am running like a little application, running a program, taking part in new religions, and really seeing it all as completely normal, especially since I am trying to be a little less fanatic about it than my... what does one call them these days?... peers, the other users?, friends, other people?... okay, other people.

I could claim that I know how to use certain machines, but in fact, these machines are telling me how to use them, and I better follow orders and smile while I do it. This is true starting with the snooze button on the alarm clock... okay, I never use this one. Or how about the interface of my shower? It is a funny one, a bit like those in motels across the country. there are only two speeds for water, one handle goes from cold to hot, dependent on the angle of the handle. Once this is figured out, I am the perfect user of the little interface. I let the water run into the tub first, put the handle in the 11 o'clock setting, put my hand in front of the shower head, so I do not get wet (how odd) then pull this little lever on top of the tub (is this the spelling for the device that keeps the water from raining onto my downstair neighbors?) and here we go... water march! Oh, and I could probably dim the lights, you know, pull down that little thing next to the door. I am pretty good at that... I don't.
The shaver lets me use it in a certain way, so does the toothpaste (prevent tooth decay, wait no, postpone tooth decay.)
Buttons are a good interface. I do buttons really well. Zippers too.
The morning TV... just a few minutes... email. Okay, email was actually first. Email is before I wake up. And email and computers are the ultimate holly mass. One has to click here, then there, connect to this, adjust this, then scroll here, put the cursor there, then here, over there, use other devices, the mouse, the keyboard, trackpad, the little button in the center. One needs to feed that thing, connect the power supply here, there, wait.
don't move.
be careful about the way you carry this thing around, better buy a padded little bag, thing, insert into the bad that you, i already have/s...
office, id card, more doors, some want to be touched with a special magic card, some want to be actually penetrated with a carved piece of metal... turn, turn on the lights, turn on the computer, turn on the virtual email application, other interfaces, more information, rituals, rituals, rituals, rituals...
one sometimes is amazed as to how a person living in the 14th century could remember all the saints and angels and special creatures,
I get to worship, no I get to serve timex, apple, sharp, schlage, otis, bombardier, metro card, more apple, lotus notes... canon, oh... the new york times...
it just arrives, no, it hits the door, right before i wake up in front of the email... and the new york times is a demanding biest...
"look, I was put together by some people far smarter than you ever will be, they managed to not only write articles about things and places you can barely imagine, they even wrote it in a language which makes your mouth water, they illustrated their ingeniously put together articles with really brilliant photographs, had that stuff not only posted on the web but actually also printed on paper, many copies of it, and they managed to have this woman run, run as if she were running for her life, because she is, so this paper can hit your door before you go to the bathroom... so now READ!"... did i just switch the times from the first person to the third person?... i apologize. and so i read. i do read the times, parts of it, every morning. i read the photographs in it. oh, that is not called reading?... oh it is not?... wait for a little while, and the times will be a grand collection of photographs, mostly... some writing... captions, pull quotes... oh, it will never happen?...
oh, it really will... it already is happening... it will be like those little slideshows with the journalists telling stories... a little less than television, as it is so expensive to make, it will be a bit of a slideshow...
and why do i know that?... because all religions are extremely efficient this way... or when was the last time we really sacrificed a lamb...
what am I talking about... this is not the same thing...
oh, and I better press the amen button when I want to even log out...
or I can just cancel...
and then nothing will really change... and i will never crash, or go to heaven, or hell... just remain here... in the device purgatory... until i am done pressing buttons that say save... or preview... and I believe... enter, return... option...
ctrl (that could be hebrew... and what language is "fn" and "tab" and "esc"?)
hmm... I feel a bit confused... hope some of the bits and pieces made sense...


Witold, I have the PERFECT little song for you...an 'ode to buttons', as it were. You simply must hear it!! Are you up for a 2MB email attachment or would you prefer an iChat file transfer? I'm going to be cryptic for now, and not tell you exactly what it is, because it will make the song even better.

Posted by: lil on November 5, 2003 11:43 PM

: )
email might be easier perhaps?... just because my day is going to be another crazy one... ; )

Posted by: Witold Riedel on November 6, 2003 08:15 AM

There have been times when I have spent so many hours in the land of the keyboard that I start imagining I can apply its functions to the rest of my life. Usually this happens when I am in the strange state between being asleep and being awake. It helps that I really have no idea how anything really works.

Posted by: Anna on November 6, 2003 10:25 AM

What I do a lot is try to key into work with my credit card and spend ages trying to figure out whats going wrong. I do this on a regular basis.

Posted by: Sian on November 7, 2003 07:57 AM

What Sian said reminded me of how many times I've tried to pay (for clothing, groceries, etc.) with my Metrocard.

Posted by: Anna on November 7, 2003 11:39 AM
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